The Healing Process has started, with some help.

Malakeas called me on Late Friday night (EST) which was 7.30 AM my time. We had a loooooooooong chat. I dont know what I would do if I didnt have you guys with me. Mala Helped ,she let me talk(oops) and gave me sound advice and even made me laugh!!

Thank you Mala!! *BIG HUGS*

I was a slop and moped around in house on Saturday and couldnt sleep for more than 3 hours for somereason. Late Saturday night my close friend and her Hubby dropped in and dragged me and mom to their place for dinner ,we had good food and a great time.

Then Sunday I felt tried as I couldnt sleep on Saturday night at all. I sent Mr AD a text saying "I forgive you for all which happened". The reason I did that is if I harbour any hatred It will drag on and keep me from getting over him sooner.

I was lazing at home and thinking of the beers I have in my fridge when Mr AD called. He wanted to meet and talk.

So we met for an hour and talked in his car. All the while I was not looking at home at all because I didnt trust the damned tears which might start any moment. I managed to not shed a single.

I told him that we could never work out (irrespective of his mother's attitude) because I need to feel trusted and secure and need somone who understands my need for a little space. if i get that Then I can be myself around a person and be comfortable without the need to lie. He is controlling and needs to know everything now... Which is not me!

I was brought up in a way that if I ever did hide stuff my mom would tell me she will wait for me to tell her the truth. I automatically told her the truth even if a few days/weeks later.

Plus I will never allow(not even his family) to ever insult my mother or her past. So unless he can be strong enough to stand up for me and him ,it can not work.

I told him that he is controlled by his mom and even though I understand that we owe our parents a lot for the things they have done for us, it should never be at the cost of our personal happiness. I told him that I owe my mom a lot too and will do whatever she asks' me to but not at the cost of my happiness because I know my mom will want me to be happy than to just follow her orders and make herself happy. Thats Plain selfish!

He was crying(well there were a few tears) and told me he is not ready to even think of fighting his mom. He is not ready to take sides or things like that.

I told him again that life is not very easy and nor is marriage. And he will have to stand up for his wife /Girlfriend (whoever she maybe) sometime in the future because his mom will never backout. So if he thinks by breaking up with me he has saved himself that trouble then he is soooo wrong!!

Anyway he and I talked it out and reached an amicable conclusion. It's over!!!

He apologized for hurting me! Kept saying he cannot find himself a better girl than me even if he tried.

He wants us to be friends!

I said I was okay but need time to get over it all then I can be friends... He wanted to know if he can call me sometimes (later not now).

He then hugged me( I did not hug him back ), he was upset that I did not hug him back.

I told him after all we have been through right now I need physical distance because any contact will break my resolve.

Over all.. It's over!!

I still hate that cow(his mom)