Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Ever felt like a complete failure due to rejection?

I think I feel like a dud now.

It seems as if I am not supposed to keep a boyfriend for long and forget long I feel a complete dodo when It comes to relationships with the opposite sex.

I have resolved to not date till I am ready and to not bother anymore.. its just very time consuming to be in a relationship and to try and make it work and realize that the person is not talking to you because of some silly misunderstanding.

The reason he is not talking to me is that I called and told how my boss behaved on 24th Dec and he snapped that "you know he is a Pig and then you sound all surprised that he behaved like one and I am sick of people acting "OMG" but turning a blind eye "

I am not 100% certain that I brought that reaction there maybe external factors too but it stung and so I replied "i am sorry maybe an error in my judgement and anyway I didnt expect him to make a move in a office gathering and I expect people to behave even if its a casual office party. Please feel free to snort in sarcasm but I didnt expect him to be so direct in his approach and I wasnt surprised that he is a pig just about the speed of his move"

now he doesnt talk not replies nor calls like he used to.. I have made efforts from my end to call and speak but with no results..

Thats it for me.. it really is

ps: monsieur= he who must not be named

*byeee before y'all kill me*

Okay Need help I need to book a Train for myself from Germany to Madrid.

I know of Eurorail but I have no clue which place from Germany to board it from and how much time does it take to travel from Germany to Madrid..

HELLLLP

Its sad that she was Killed yesterday!

Reminded me of the assissination of Rajiv Gandhi when I was around 10 years old.

Suicide Bomber attack and then shooters.

I sincerely pray that all these violent killers are punished and tortured and hopefully Erased from face of earth

I am flying on 9th January to Germany and then a Train to Madrid.

It's going to be a Loooooooooooog Journey..

Got an email form my Finance team that I am to receive a Bonus in my december salary!!

*YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

*does a conga*

Its not a huge amount but its a Bonus so who cares?

In other news

he who must not be named is slowly getting over his grumpy "I will snap at every innocent person" stage

EDITED:

Since I am not an innocent person I will continue to receive the cold shoulder

Resolutions:

1.I am sick of men and so resolution to stay away from the Male species except a few trusted ones(Eg: brothers and 2 married male friends)

2.Do not date any men with the following issues:
-Emotionally unavailable
-Emptional fuckwittage
-alcoholics & workaholics
-married( never did that anyway)
-Men who are still Hung up after what EX did
-Men who generalize that all women are backstabbers
-Men who dont realise that I am a person with feelings
-Men who cant look beyond my boobs
-Men who crib and rant but if I say anything call me a cribbing fool
-Men who dont love me for who I am and do not appreciate me
If I missed out anything please let me know

3.Find inner peace and stop worrying about marriage etc etc
4.Work and make something great out of my career and focus on ME ME ME
5.break away from he who must not be named as its an emotionally draining experience..

It was not too great..

On 24th My Boss invited me and 4 other Male colleagues to a party and a downtown pub,I was not interested but went along since he and the rest pestered me to..

Reached at a pub around 11 pm and the guys started drinking like there was no tomorrow.. Me? I sat with a rum & coke and later only Coke since I dont feel office parties are for getting drunk and wasted.

So there I am 4 men getting drunk and me sipping coke(them thinking its rum and coke)

When the time came to thankfully return home Boss and another colleague in his car drove me back.

Conversation with Boss on Drive back(after dropping the other colleague)

Boss: PF(used my real name) I kinda feel you didnt have fun ,its okay

Me: Nopes It was fun( it sure was to watch men get drunk and behave silly)

Boss: You were invited into my close group and we all believe in having fun when we go out.

Me: Uh huh!

Boss:You know I believe that one should live life to the fullest and try everything once only then they can mature enough and know what they want.
Me: Yep

Boss: off the record PF I have been known to be a womaniser and have slept with ooh somewhat 50 women..

Me:

Bosscontinues) I have had times when I have woken up in my flat in Manila and found it filled with Naked Bodies and thats when it struck that its enough now.

Me: again

Boss: You know I should say sorry for asking about your ex on the first day we met.. I was later informed that I had asked a very wrong question.
All the while I worked with your EX I had no clue you were dating.
I cant believe he did that to you!

Me: yeah well thats past history now,Who told you it was a wrong question? did my Big boss (the one from Pune) tell you that? because he knows a bit of what happened (ex was my boss too once and when ex was threatining me at work I had complained to Big Boss in Pune)

Him: yeah he told me.. what does he know?

Me: why dont you ask a direct question on what you want to know and letme see if I can answer it.
(Me sticking close to the door of car so as to ensure physical distance at all costs as he accidently kept his hand close to mine)

Him: I dont know nothing.. everything..

Me: there is nothing to tell.. we dated,its over now and thats it.

Him: ooh Big boss told me he didnt want to marry.

Me: Ooh really? cool thats not what I know about.

Him: he also told me some issue took place

Me: Yeah he threatned and I complained thats it

Him: so are you dating now? or looking?

Me: Nopes I am not and am not looking either

(reached my home) He still continues

Him: why? I mean dont you enjoy life?

Me: My idea of enjoyment is not dating.. I have other things to occupy my time..

Him: like?

Me: reading and spending time with friends and family.

Him: so you dont feel the need to have a relationship?

Me: I dont feel that I have to drink/smoke or have a relationship to survive.

Him:Ooh what about your family?

Me: my mother is a strong woman and she raised me strong and independent

Him: dad?

Me: divorced

Him: hmm so you always this practical? have you never been emotional?

Me: being practical and stong doesnt mean no emotions.

Him: you know I was engaged a week ago and I broke it off

Me: ooh

Him: yeah now I am thinking whether I did the right thing.. even though family tells me I did

Me: better to be safe than sorry

Him: what do you mean?

Me: nothing just that better realise now than later and the girl will get other guys loads of fish in sea.

Him: hmm I am thinking.. you know I write about relationships and things and the stuff you told me makes me think and analyze.

Me: ooh

Him: hmm time to leave now..

Me: *scrambled and rused* 'bye

Now I wonder what is it with bloody Men.. I told he who must not be named and He got mad since he says I should have known the guy is a PIG and so should not sound surprised he acted this way

Love life is Jinxed , well and truely!

I dont get time alone with he who must not be named

we have to sneak around like college students making out and suddenly you hear parents car in the drive...(when they are supposed to be out for atleast 4 hours instead of 2)

*rush ,run ,straighten clothes hide any tell tale signs of making out and throw the Boyfriend out from the balcony or kitchen door*

Now he who must not be named is pissed mad

I am pissed mad too.. at the bloody luck..

I think I should give up and try being a... a...

any ideas? suggestions?

*kicks CPU*

*ouch ouch ouch*

I think I have a severe illness which leads to lack of judgement!

its called stupid bloody blind when choosing friends!

Okay i was with a friend( he has been one for 4 years now and never ever behaved horny with me) because he wanted to watch a movie yesterday.

We couldnt get any tickets for a early show so decided to go back to our respective homes.

oh the drive back this person grabs my hand(thank god I was wearing gloves)and says he feels like touching me!!

I tell him NO THANKS so he goes to elaborate..

Him: whats the harm? I am just asking to touch you a bit and not go all the way

Me: you have gone nuts

Him: no i mean it i think of you as purely a woman just let me touch you

Me: are you out of your mind? I dont want to get involved in anyway..and I dont reciprocate.

Him: Can I touch your thighs? Its a sure fire way to spark..

Me: Its not just the body its the MIND TOO..and I do not wish to get involved because its not great without some feeling.

Him: please atleast take off yout gloves

Me: NO *yanks hands away*

finally reached place and I couldnt wait to rush into my flat and lock the doors.

WHY WHY WHY WHY

he who must not be named thinks my friends are weird and not nice..

I think I agree with him

.. to all Dog lovers

For the rest

1. Do you own a box of crayons?
I used too now I dont

2. Have you ever seen a dead body?
Yes.

3. Do you always wear a seatbelt?
Not always,sometimes

4. When do you shower most often?
Cleanliness freak I bathe even if the temperature is cold and there is no Hot water

5. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Ummm any catchy tune

6. Do you own any diamonds?
Yes ,Grandmother's gifted earings when I was born(which means they are now bloody 26 years old)

7. What was the last thing you purchased?
Lunch and paracetamol

8. What makes you feel warm and safe?
my pet Zoya

9. How often do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes (when they are more like nightmares)

10. Did you go to public or private school?
I was in a non government private School

11. Will you donate your organs after you pass?
hmm Probably eyes

12. How do you vent your anger?
Blogging,watchign TV, reading ,listening to music, going for a walk,eating some confort food... I rarely show anger .

13. What is your heritage?
Indian

14. What kind of watch do you wear?
Steel silver one from Titan timex

15. Did you ever go to camp?
Yeah from work on a Army camp it was fun.

16. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
out of school and trying to get into a Univ, working with my Mum parttime

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
No but MK and Me plan to visit one

18. What is your ringtone?
X files

19. What kind of milk do you drink?
Chocolate low fat milk ( full cream will do as well)

20. Are you touchy-feely?
errm sometimes

Yeah after traisping after my friend till midnight and then waiting in a cold room for another 4 I am sick!!

I caught a cold even though I was wearing a sweater and a jacket!

Just my bloody luck!

Symptoms:

1)sore throat which pains
2)Cough
3)Rudolph the red nosed reindeer will be proud of me
4)Fever
5)brains are not working and I cant concentrate at work
6)need he who must not be named to cuddle real bad!

Statutory Warning

Note to all at work- do not call me/do not email me/do not ask me to walk or move/DO NOT scream or talk loudly!

My reactions will not be my responsibility!!

Its been some weekend!

he who must not be named was there with me on saurday for 2 hours and we had so much fun! and then a coffee..

Brr its cold where I am(not as cold as UK but for me its worth a few sweaters and a lovely blanket and room heater.)

The friend I am living with- I had a fight with her today.

Because of her I was roaming the malls and cafe's of the city from 6 PM till 12 midnight waiting for fer guy to return so they could fuck have sex and spend some time together whereas I sit in the other room twiddling thumbs!

I screamed(not loudly but more frustrated sarcasm)

Now she has got what she wanted and I told her the Man is using her(he has a different girl he says he will marry)

I am just so frustrated and irritated and blogging at 4 AM waiting to go back to our flat so I can sleep a few hours before work (as they both snore)

I have told her in no uncertain terms I am NOT doing this for her EVER!

*sigh* I think I will have to search my own apartment

My bro is with Dad (bio) since 2 days.

This is the first time after 10-15 years that he has lived in the house we were born in.

Why dad wanted Bro there?

Here's the download:

Dad has a evil twin sister and a younger sister as well.

Bit of history twin sister is married in new Jersey and has her son in navy and basically well off and not a financial issue.Younger sister is a widow married 2nd time to an already married man who at one time she considered like a brother,he has deserted his 2 children and wife-tells the world 1st wife is dead

Both greedy sisters want my dad to split his property between their kids( 2 each)

Now dad it seems doesnt wish to and wants to sign papers off to bro..

Him and bro are having drinks and behaving like buddies

Now if dad gives the property to bro he will want to either live with bro or move with bro..

Yep thats me... no these are not my words these are from He who must not be named

Him:I thought you were not high maintenace girlfriendbut I was wrong *flashes his evil grin* & winks
Me: *Sniggers* as he carries it up the stairs to first floor apartment
Why did he say that?

Well he had to drag my 25 kilo suitcase 3 times this week from one hotel to another and now into a rented place with a schoolfriend..
(I feel terrible)

I gave him a nice kiss for all his trouble.. and what does he say?

him: Great! now I have other problems to hide

*BOL*

being a vegetarian is a big Problem

I was checking for Spanish cuisine and most of it is sea food or meat..

I think i would have to manage chicken because if I dont get any vegetarian foods I will try out their cuisines..

I am okay with chicken and a few types of sea food(mainly diced and fried fish in a batter and err had lobster once)

I cant eat a huge chunk and if it's still got eyes I might not be able to go near it..

Squids and Calamari(no way so err looks slimey)

The only thing which looked really intersting to me in Spanish Cuisine is churro[CHOOR-roh]specialty consists of a sweet-dough spiral that is deep-fried and eaten like a doughnut. Churros are usually coated with a mixture of cinnamon and confectioners' (or granulated) sugar and served with HOT Chocolate

Hey Meno seeing that MollyG is so cute

Here is a card(Website is dedicated to a chocolate Labrador)

...after a very looooooooong time

Trouble in hell paradise

I am being transferred to my current location which means my benefits( daily allowances and reibursements) are going to stop.

Plus I will have to take a place on rent( which means I pay rent for my mother's house and mine here) Bummer!

I am going to Live in a permanent Broke situation in that case..

Also renting in India is the BIGGEST PAIN if you are single.

Issues:

1. People dont like to give houses/flats/studios in decent area to singles they only prefer "families or married couple"
2.If you find a place which you like and even the owner is okay with you being bloody single then the house is probably dank,infested with water seepage and totally unliveable.
3.If you find a place which is perfect then the rent is so damned much that it burns a hole in my already tattered pocket( in pounds the rent is cheap but in rupees its not and i earn rupees)
4. if i want a furnished house then I pay for a single room the amount which can get me a 2 bedroom flat(bare)

Now all this crap

Seems I have no choice since I have to apply for a visa and the stupendously stupid consulate refused to let me apply since I am from a different part of India and so people in Western India can only apply at Bombay and Northern India in Delhi..

Idiotic

I land in Germany for a day or 2 and then off to Spain!!

the job is tough (something I have never done)

Pray everything works out..

Filthy, pathetic, bitchy,blood sucking assholes

Sorry for the profanities just needed to vent out..

read blog Upset for more info

I am not a perfect person..

I had done a a few things I am not proud of..

1.posted EX's wife's name and number on a adult personals site when I found out he was cheating on me with her.(Deleted it as well a month or so later by writing to the administrators of site) way back in 2006 november or so
2.talked bad about someone behind their back
3.Told bro how an ex was being a two timer at the same time was friendly with her( I am conniving)I was at that friends wedding this week!! I am a terrible person..

Now why am i saying this?

Ex's now wife called me and threatned legal action for harrassment and stuff..I had told ex when I made the profile and he was impressed( the selfish pig gloated I did all this because of him)

This is not all ex it seems got hold of my diary (i thought I had lost it) and now he and wife have read through my diary which had details of how my fist time was and also a tiny secret I never told anyone..

I got a week pregnant when seeing ex and took a pill to end it all..(ex told me he was trying to get me pregnant so I will marry him)

She wants to go and tell my Mother about it all and cause her more grief .. all this when I am away..

I have cried and cried and thats not really a soultion to this..

Called Ex and told him if his wife gets into a mud slinging act then he wont be spared because there are things I can say and it will not look good.. told him I have moved on and he should too..

Plus I told his wife that those were my actions and my mother doesnt need to pay if anything she needs to confront me and also told her I acted in a way because I was hurt and I am not proud I did it..

I dont know what will Happen now..

Just pray to god nothing does and that this too shall pass..

*whew* After a 8 hour train journey back to Delhi and then directly to work at 11 PM and back by 3 AM and now back to work by 12 Noon.

I managed to submit all my papers and will get my visa in 4 days so next week I am off to Amsterdam(first) maybe followed by Germany and even Spain(Yipeeee)

My Boss saw me and immediately shook my hand ,arm around shoulder and stated "I need you to go you know why the F*ck are you delaying?.Its very important 300 people are to be involved in this project ,Its good for you and I am telling people I want you to go."

*me shocked at his enthusiasm when he saw me*

* he has always been a toucher* always hugging and arm around shoulder type.. not just with women but men too

Then got a call from a colleague and he said one of his co workers called me "Hot stuff"

* considering that there are hardly any young women I dont really take that comment seriously*

seems I am in trouble ... I havent been able to fill out my Visa for Gemrany because

1. I was in a different city and had to get my papers faxed
2. My boss told me I am not going anywhere till i sort out a crisis at work( it was one BIG mess which took place on last thursday and I had to meet the VP and create various analysis charts and presentations to save Boss's butt & mine and various others) was at work till 5 am and back at noon
3.Boss said you might not go if this is not sorted
4.My papers took 2 1/2 days tp be faxed and they were faxed last night and I am in a different town for a day and now they will want to take it up as an issue that I took one day off when I should have filed for visa.

Now I have had NO time to do anything and these people are asking "Why if your base Location is X that you are filing for Visa from Y?"

Well Because I am in Y since 4 months and My boss told me to apply from here.( *Do I fly to X to file a visa? Is the company paying?)

So there is going to be some issue made out of it since my trip will get delayed.

PS: I was given the paperwork checklist on Friday( I cant possibly get everything on the same day and meet the VP and make thousands of presentations at once)

Ah well if they are going to make a fuss I DONT care.. I have my VALID reasons, and have done nothing wrong

Work!! its crazy!

now another 6 hours of Travel back to City Y

I took a leave from work and traveled 6 hours to attend a school buddy's wedding..

The usual questions asked when people saw me after 4 years

1.so are you married now?
2.ooh how you kids grow up
3.Where do you work?
4.bless you my child you look pretty
4.we should see kids in you lap by now

Ooh I had Henna art applied on my palms.. will post photos and my Snap was clicked by a photographer of our city Page 3(glossies)

Okay So I got this Personal Message

Hello I am a lady of 23, I found you hear in (www.blog.co.uk) and picked interest in you. My name is Queen .I wish to be in love relationship with you and may be discover ourselves as real partners for life. This is my email adderss(queen02mabou@yahoo.com) If you feel interested write me through the contact. I will be happy to seeing a good responds from you Thanks and remain blessed. Please if your are interested this is my contact (queen02mabou@yahoo.com)send your email to my mail inbox so that i will send you my photo and tell you more about me ok,

Errm I know I have not been very successful with men , uptil now.. I dont wish to be mean but I sadly prefer Men over women!!

I love him ...

I am the world's biggest idiot