Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Today I got a call from an unknown number while I was at work (2AM)!!

I answered it to realise its Twat Ex calling..

The reason for a call?*you'd find it totally corny*

TwatEX: Princess How are you?

Me:ummm Great!! *silence and disinterested dull tone*

TwatEX:Ooh I called because I wanted to know why Mr AF Wanted a loan from me..(2Lac Indian Rupees )

*conversion 1 Million Dollars is = 10 Lac Indian Rupees*

*Mr.AF happens to be a man who used to report to me until last November*!!!!!!!

Me: Umm yeah He called me too.. I dont know the reason and I cant lend him Money because I dont have that much.

TwatEX: ohh I dont have a problem lending him Just wanted to know from you If you knew what the urgency was

* as if!!???? I mean Do i keep a diary of all things which happen to people at work*

Me: Nope

TwatEX: Oh so How was US trip?

Me: Greaaat * dull bored tone*

TwatEx: so when did you return to India?

Me: ummm 3 weeks ago

TwatEX: Hows Everything?

Me: Greaaaaaat

TwatEX: oh okay Well take care & bye

Me: yep bye!

* Amazing how I feel absolutely nothing when he called,I dont even feel hurt which means Hurrah*

*which also means Monsieur helped me get over him*

Now there lies another problem

PS: Its 5AM Indian Time and I am still at work. I was supposed to leave 2 hours ago

Monsieur Met with an accident..

The Tree and Car are hurt but no danger

Monsieur is saved with not even a scratch

I told him to wear his lucky charm( err I kinda got it made for him when he wanted it)

I am at work from 6 Pm till 4 AM now and am

I have had calls firing at me from all directions and morons emailing me 50 million times

I just need a break.

Just now I was applying for access for new 30 employees since their own Manager doesnt know a thing and wont even learn via the step by step guide sent..

anyway I am here till 15 october and then off to my city where i now live..

Ooh this new Manager's boss is a prick! He worked with my ex boyfriend and sadly joined my company.

On the first day of meeting (I dont know him since he worked in a different department) he asked me infront of 5 colleagues

Prick: Princess you were with Twat(ex) right?

Me: Sorry I dont understand the question(why point i was "with" ex in front of other colleagues?)

Him: Oh err I mean didnt you report to him in previous company?

Me: No I didnt report to him I was int he same department

anyway now today this GIT somes to me and asks "would you like to work in this city in my team?"

HA! I dont and I told him "as what and I will think about it"

I didnt want to out right say anything since he is a high up in the management.

.. I dont blame or brand Monsieur as a bad person for not reciprocating.

I think it's just my bad luck!!

I would love to be a part of his life and share but if he doesnt love me... maybe its devious God's plan and mine and his are different path

Which means I am angry at my luck and upset with god as to why he such things.. make you fall in love with someone who will never love you.

Oh Monsieur did reply to a normal SMS i sent this morning.. coming from him after I told him how I feel.. Its a Big deal..

Normally I would expect the guy to put on their Nike's and run as fast as they can in the opposite direction for the fear of a clingy lovelorn woman..

Or take advantage (in some cases)

So, maybe because I Love him so much he is a nice person.. He hasnt really done anything hurtfull.... besides keep Silent over the text I sent..not reply to my messages often,or so..

*maybe my mind is acting up.. he never promised anything and would normally behave this way but now I feel it more because I confessed my feelings*

*need a break*

*stop thinking*

*eats a brownie*

I kept giving myself pep talks all day!!

Kept telling myself there's something more fucked up better for you.

All things happen for the best.

Keep the faith!

dont wanna keep the fucking faith, every time something horrible happens just when things were going good for me

I just want to shut the doors to it all and live alone..

This way i dont get hurt ever!!

But over all(besides the fucked up selfconfidence and internal battle with god) I am good..

I feel better and ready to accept that life sucks this too shall pass!!

This is when Depression hits..

told a guy how i feel and get no reply...

*bummer*

*feeling suddenly all choked up*

Now the fate really wants to test us.

Monsieur is working morning 9am-5pm and I am working evening 5pm-2am!!

I decided we are really not going to get a chance to meet anymore so I sent him a SMS last night( Blame it on the Book "A walk to remember by Nicholas Sparks which made me take a step)

I sent this text

I read this book which rattled my brains.Have been trying not to tell you- I love you.

There be amused now

I dont expect anything.. Bonne Nuit

Well I didnt get any reply.. I knew I wont and I dont expect him to as well.

Anyway Atleast I said it..

What do you think? did the message sound daft?

I just thought what if I never get to tell him and regret it..

So i said it..

*bites nails*

EDITED

Continues to bite toe nails as well..

I sent Mosnier a email asking "Hope I didnt make you uncomfortable"

Got a reply

"Nopes"

*bites skin around nails and starts cheweing on tables*

*Sweats like a i am standing under a shower*

*hands cold*

*Rushes to Loo to pee*

Dear Monsieur,

Movie Invitation: 21 September or 22 September or 23 September
Time: Any as per your convenience
Venue: Theatre

Question: 

Would you like to watch?
  

1. No Reservations(Romantic Comedy *ing Catherine Zeta Jones)
2. Bourne Ultimatum(Thriller *ing Matt Damon)
3. Curse of the Golden flower( Chink fight movie)
4. Blind Dating(American blind guy meets Indian gal  movie) eeks!
5. RATAOUILLE( Animation)
6. Lions of Punjab
7. Dhol
8. None of the above( Pffffft)

 Options: 

1. Yes
2. No
3. Maybe (This is an redundant answer) lol

Cheers

PrincessFiona

So how did I score on asking a Guy out?

EDIT

PS: Monsieur Declined because he has to get his car fixed

Today Morning when I went into the Bathroom to brush and shower I saw my most dreaded enemy-the domestic Lizard!!!!!!!!

Its reptilian slit eyes and black scaly body giving me the Shivers!!!!!

*brrrrrrrrrrrrr*

I managed to skip and jump and kinda land right infront of the basin because the sinister Lizard was on the door Latch

*shudders*

I had to strip and shower infront of its malevolent eyes because it refused to be Shooed away from a distance.. It had no fear!!!!!

I had to endure its presence

When i wrapped a towel to get out *breathe* thats when things got uglier... It refused to move from is place over latch and I tried to somehow open latch to get out.

The F*cking SOB wont move no matter how much I danced and Jumped and Shooed trying to scare it away..

Oh no!!!

I somehow managed to open Latch and thats when It happened.... the idiot slimy,creepy git jumped *screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech*

Oh yeah I screamed loud enough to wake the dead and scare other sleepy Guests at the Hotel..

I jumped out of the way and it fell *splat* on the floor and *shudder ,Shudder* slithered away..

Oh God ! I still get the shivers!!

If I could shoot all Lizards i would!!

I have been told that I will be sent back to US for 2 months or so again.

Oh my the the thought that I will be alone in Atlanta for 2 months will drive me crazy..

I will miss monsieur so so much!!

Ooh and If around Christmas I am there I will visit New York

I wish somehow Monsieur was also sent to US with me-That would be soo Much Fun!!!

Anyway I keep Thinking How to err tell him how I feel and am scared that he will Probably find it amusing and fake(because he feels Love Nowadays is alie)

Then the fear of loosing him alltogether(not much in that since I dont own him to loose in the first place)

Yeah and finally the rejection-I know I am not perfect and have so many negatives than positives but still a rejection will hurt a little.

So what do you think?

Please help!!

Favourite Food = Rajma Rice(Indian Beans curry and Rice)

Favourite Film = I think "Roman Holiday"

Favourite Band = Westlife,Creed,Evanescense,Def Leppard,Boyzone

Favourite Computer Game = MOHAA

Favourite Drink = Coconut water

Favourite Team = Australia

Favourite Smell = White Musk

Favourite Place = My bed

Favourite Person (non-family) = My Friends!

Favourite Curry = All Indian Curries-Egg curry,Rajma,Chole etc

Favourite Tv Show (current) = Scrubs!

Favourite Tv Show (all time) = Friends
u
Favourite 80's Cartoon = Tom & jerry!! wait itsnot the80's!

Favourite Hobby = Painting!

Favourite Quote = You dont bother me ,I dont bother you

Favourite Website = www.victoriassecret.com

Favourite Book = Famous Five

Favourite Author = Enid Blyton

Favourite Colour = Red

Favourite Song = Drops of Jupiter,Save tonight,Iris,Dont Leave Home(toomany)

Day: 19th umm Sept 07
Time: 1:05 PM

Calories: errrrrrr

Meals: Breakfast thinking of Lunch

Productive time at work: 0 Minutes

Time Spend thinking about Monsieur and the our weekend: Millions ,billions,trillions of minutes

Time spend chatting with Monsieur on email: 3 hours intermittantly

Time spend thinking of grabbing a brownie at work: last 30 minutes

Time spend wishing was back in my hotel in bed: since 7 AM

Okay so I havent had much to do today ,but I cant wait anymore I gotta eat... So Lunch Here i come.

PS:Monsieur is v v v v v v v v busy today because he has 131 new people joining work and now seats are to be found for each

I was Munching on Spicy Nacho chips(Doritos) when my Client Mr Bond remarked

Mr Bond: Thats not good for health

Me: Oh? *crunch munch* Its delicious

Mr Bond: Hmm you can afford to eat since you are thin now

Me: Hmm Its just a tiny packet.

Mr Bond: *grabs packet* High level of sodium,contains 30% of your total daily fat intake,Has starch and a little fibre,no vitamins.

Me: * feels crap for eating a packet of yummt spicy Doritos*

Mr Bond:Hands back the packet

Me: Oh its one packet I am not addicted*sheepishly*

Mr Bond: oh Hun not now but it does get addictive

Me: *feels like a fat potato* ooh hmm!

Me: goes out to eat a brownie since feel crap about eating non healthy stuff.

*this is what really happened in USA*

It was one AWESOME weekend!

Had 3 days with Monsieur!!! *yay*

He was awesome !!!!

Oh Oh Oh!!

Started On friday evening with an hour together but felt like 5 minutes.

But Saturday was *speechless*, We had close to 3 hours together and it was gentle,exciting like a bungee jump or a dive into a river or pool or or.. i just am unable to put words to my thoughts!!

We hugged and lay for a while (I liked that the best!)

Sunday was a few minutes but each was amazing, i obviously couldnt sleep a wink because I wanted to hug him & hold him kinda makes me feel like I am in a safe cocoon.

He asked me a question though

Him: why do you like me so much?
Me: Because I am crazy!

Okay not the best answer , but what can i say? I like him because I know he can be really nice(when not snapping and biting my head off?)

He also made a few remarks

Him: I would not make a good boyfriend because I am so messed up!

I did reply to this one but later on a text

Me: fyi you would make a good- BF only if you wanted to be.

I like talking and spending time with Monsieur( lol after 10 or so months i guess thats an understatement!)

Oh but I feel slightly like a sexual mishap! I dont think I am that good at it all. He knows what makes me tick I am still guessing what makes him tick!!

I felt like a purring cat but I am not sure if he felt that good!!!

But he is amazing!!!!!!!!

Monsieur has not been able to meet me this entire week!!!!!!!

Everytime/Day something comes up

Sometimes I kinda start wondering if he maybe avoiding me? but then I mentally slap myself for being so insecure.

Its just that last week every evening we would meet even if its for 15 minutes and this week all we have done is sit through lunch.

Today he called me to join him for lunch.

*slaps self*

*kicks table*
*bangs doors*
*bangs Keyboard*

Why do i get such terrible thoughts?

*wish didnt have female hormones*

I am sure we will get to spend some time together *prays*

See this is how women get into trouble-we think too much

Fuck fuck fuckietty fuck!!!

Advice to all women:- Please remove the right part of brain and work only with left like men.

*curses god for confusing us by aloowing access to both left &right part of brain*

After Reading PhineBooty's blog http://redtongue.blog.co.uk/2007/09/10/some_jolly_good_loving~2955309

I sent this Message to Monsieur on Chat:

Today>Car>Drive>Needed

LOL

You cant blame me for wanting him..

All i need now I a place where I can be alone with him  so have messaged him to book a hotel room for 2 nights over the weekend.

Thats the only place we can be alone with no disturbance...

*things I have to do to spend time alone with him*

From Monsieur!!!

His message was

by the way I am sorry

My reply

Oh my I am speechless -(hugs)

His reply

Just coz I dnt say I m being a jerk doesn’t mean I dnt know I m being a jerk….I m just too messed up

Then he called me and cracked the worst jokes ever- but i was laughing!!

This makes it tough for me for when i leave town

Monsieur Is talking to me again.. well la di dah!

In our chat yesterday i was Waspish -"Thank you for snapping at me ,by the way I was not drunk".

Then he explains that his family was giving him a hard time and that there was fuss created by his brother.

Ah I understand that families tend to give you a hard time but if you are in a bad mood you can always be non snapish and just tell the person that its not a good time ,i am in a bad mood, etc.

So we are talking and will hopefully do so till i leave this city in another 3 weeks.

*feeling sleeeeeepy*

ooh moved in with this old friend from school and boy am i shocked at the change in her.

I mean its not a good change. A man tells her "i love you" and she is in bed with him in an instant and now moans of why it happens to her.

I cant even make her see sense because she wont.

anyway, doesnt matter I am here for a short while and will not get involved.

I got a Text from my mother

Dear Daughter I have been meaning to ask for a long time but have not got the opportunity to.
I wanted to ask about your relationship with Monsieur. I see you are emotionally involved and wanted to know what Monsieur feels-is it all casual for him? is he seriously interested? does he feel the same? Is it a no win situation?.I know you are a practical and strong girl and wont jump into anything without thinking.I am there if you need me.

* cried for a few mins*

Replied

Ma Its a no win situation and we are just friends

Well It does! Me & Monsieur I mean!

I know for a 100% fact there is nothing but sex for him

I guess I was a blind fool to believe and try my luck out,cant help being a optimist at times.

To tell you bare facts ,I have nothing keeping me here but work and I refuse to move to his city because i need something tangible to take a chance-you know something like a hint from him of his feelings.

Also We are not talking -The reason? (you will laugh)

On Saturday I was out watching a movie with friends and called him once around 3PM and sent a text message "wish could spend time with you".

Then I went to a pub for a beer as well and send a text message (it was supposed to be a funny one) "Wanna meet a mildly tipsy girl?".

I mean I was not drunk/tispy I was simply kidding.

I get a terse "nopes"

When I got back to my hotel room i decided to give him a call(10PM) just for a casual chit chat.

The moment the call was answered all I could utter was a "hey" and I get told off " Princess are you nuts? I am with family"

Oh hell *Mushroom cloud over head*

*embarassing moment*

All i said was "Im sorry" before the brutal click of the call being disconnected.

*cried for 10 mins*

*deleted all sms and contact details of Monsieur*

*felt like Glenn close in Falat attraction,only Monsieur is not married*

I hate the feeling that i am imposing on anyone's time and so i felt totally embarassed and also angry at being treated like im a drunk obssessive girl who keeps pestering Monsieur.

So even though I spent an entire sunday thinkin "wish had not deleted number" I still went out to meet friends and keep thoughts of Monsieur at bay.

I Met my friend at a pub and spend 5 hours "girl talk" and female bonding and ofcourse told her of my fight with Monsieur.Spent sometime cursing men in general*felt goood*

Now this morning I am at work and as silly as I am I am trying to hide from Monsieur because I dont wish to impose and be at the receiving end of a verbal whip lash.

I know now that I will not continue with him because I am a bit too soft and he is used to "women come and go" so I refuse to be treated like one his B*tches or so.

I have a bloody ego and it surfaces only in self defence ,to save myself from hurt.

* slaps self for sending him a email right now with the content "bonjour?"*

Anyway it will hurt but I will get over it,I have a few memories to keep.

I guess God does intervene-if you notice the amount of obstacles he placed between us meeting kinda feels like Destiny knows this is not meant to be

I am put up in a Guest house type accomodation which is basically like a B&B.

The reason I hate it?- no guests (of opposite sex)allowed in bedrooms!

I mean for the love of god!!!

We are adults not in school that we need a "all feet must be on the floow at all times"!!!!

Was moaning to Monsieur how i hate this rule and his idea?

Company promotes same sex relationships and oppose heterosexual ones ?

Whatever but seriously this is so silly!!!!!

I am back in India after a exhaustive 19 hour flight and 3 hour layover in Amsterdam and another 3 hour drive to my Home town,only to be told by my company I need to fly to a different city the very next day!

So i got to say "hi" and "bye" to family and Jet lagged flew another 2 hours to Delhi.

Now at work and got a little time alone !!

The best part? Monsieur is here and we met today and had lunch together.

Also did a crazy thing of stealing a kiss in the deserted elevator!!!

* definitely will get fired if they had cameras in there*

How have you all been??

I had this person email me today.

He was my childhood buddy but I stopped any contact with him because one night 2 years ago he came to town to visit and at night got into my room and begged me to have sex with him.

When i refused he grabbed me and tried to forcefully feel me up. I was shell shocked and couldnt scream or anything for help.

But I did tell him in a calm voice- I am not having sex with you no matter how much you beg and please get out.!

I know I know I should have beat the shit outta him or atleast tried to.. But All I did was nicely ask him to leave.

Since then I stopped all contact.

Today He emails me asking me "let bygones be bygones for the sake of years of friendship we shared"

then

"I am sorry for my actions and i think a lot about what I did and it bothers me"

Ha! bothers your conscience for me it was sheer trauma!

I told him "I have put the incident behind me but I cant forget and I dont wish to give you a second chance. Live and learn life is not fair and you getting a second change is not possible"

To which he replied" i am sorry and I am around the corner if you need me"

Sod off!

I dont need you ,Never have!

I trusted him and he broke it and there is no repair ..

All i know is I dont know how he had the guts to say "let bygones be bygones.."

anyway.....