I Want a baby!

Well I see babies and kinda feel like I would love to have one too..

It's difficult to write this because I spent a loong time refusing to accept that I actually may have a uterus and a maternal bone!

Having one of my own seems like a impossibility because after what happened with me as a child I refused to have my own go through the emotional trauma when parents break up.

I like the idea of marriage and then babies because family is important! But how many families actually have love left in it after even 3 years?

Do I want my kid to turn up as confused and hurt as i was? No I dont!

This is the main reason I avoid thinking about babies and family! I know If i commit for me I will give it all my attention. I spent 3 years trying to make things work with ex even though i knew there was little hope.

I take family seriously and so I never want to risk having to tell my child "choose between dad and mom".

I may end up adopting being a single parent! I know that I would love to see a child grow in my house and wipe its tears ,get exasperated over its screaming tantrums, call it a little devil, see it off to school and deal with bloody teenage issues.

Who knows if our own children grow up even hating us at times:D

Hmmmmm on second thoughts- I am better off this way , atleast wont have a child telling me in 40 years that i am screw up:))

You know what? I think I need a walk to the Publix store and get some wine to drown this crazy thought.;D

Ps: I didnt get wine I got a large quart of Chocolate milk:D
:crazy: I dont feel like drinking