Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

1. Do you schedule sex?

I dont i love to be spontaneous and surprises are the thing.. However im celibate since last august.

2. When do you shower, morning or night?

Morning and Evening

3. What do you read on the john?

 I read the Newspaper

4. Do you spend a lot of time styling your hair in the morning?

A brush through coz my hair has a mind of its own

5. When do you go to bed?

usually around 2am!

6. What is your favorite nighttime ritual?

Hmm bath,wear my nice red satin shorts and tank to bed ,read and try and keep my pet off my bed.

7. Do you hook up with friends during the week?

I would love to.. however most are married and thus this is gettin difficult.. I have a Hen night this weekend.

8. When do you start your day?

around 9 am

9. Do you eat breakfast on the fly?

all the time..

And the final daily ritual....

10. Is brushing your teeth essential to starting your day?

Yeah infact brush twice morning and evening

$@#$*($()%$%__%(Curses!)

Why do i always end up blabbing too much? Being told that my wise cracks aren’t funny?

It's like telling Chandler Bing to stuff it and that his jokes and wise cracks are terribly boring.

That’s the most embarrassing thing that I can do and I always end up with Foot in Mouth disease!

Well to tell why I am cursing myself , Monsieur and me are chatting and he is telling about how things are difficult at work , I am replying with some wise cracks and stuff to keep the note positive so that you know, He FEELS positive and the silly jokes relieve the tension..

Instead i am snapped at for being not funny, I feel like a crab without a shell and so am crawling back into it.

We had a Blood Donation Drive at work today. I suddenly felt like i should do My bit for humanity and donate.

This is the first time I ever donated and i was scared(Im scared of needles,doctors,hospitals,blood)

I have a hisotry of fainting at the mearest sight of blood. I fainted when my Dentist was working on a tooth ,i fainted when i saw a bit of blood during a routine blood test.

But, I still decided to donate and even collected a few colleagues(why should i go alone) to do the same.

When the doc took a blade to prick my finger to rest Haemoglobin levels I was already Pale. Then They gave me the Haemopack which had the largest needle i ever saw and i was fast loosin my bravado and was turning to run( alas!! had my colleague standing right behind(the Captain) and he wouldnt let me run)

The Captain was brave and with full fanfare donated blood( said We from the Army are used to blood donation )

When they made me lay on a bed to donate..I realized all my colleagues were staring to see me react(Which did when the needle pierced though my skin)It was as if the expected to see Green Blood instead of red.

Well post my generous act of Humanity I feel dizzy and have been asked to eat and relax.. which i am !!

Back at my desk and staring at PC

As all us who slog each day and will continue to do so for atleast 20-30 years of our life know the allowances we have in our salary.As well as a few Policies.

I would like to make a few additions on the basis that the current doesnt allow me to indluge and live my life as a Princess.

1)Shoe/Clothes Allowance:This allowance is necessary since all pop psychologist sat that clothes makes a Man/Woman. We need to be given additional allowance to ensure our wardrobe and shoes are always shiny,new,and non smelly kinds

2)Dating Allowance: This is for all the Lonely hearts. This way the company encourages dating and which improves over all Morale of the employees and ensures a healtly dating life.

3)Marriage Bonus: Incase 2 employees meet and marry, the company should give them a marriage bonus because this will promote marriage and also once they have kids you can be sure the parents might recommend them into the company(Plus the allowance goes into the marriage arrangements cost)

4)Break-up leave: This is when a person gets unceremonisouly dumped by her pathetic boyfriend or Husband/Girlfriend or Wife and vise versa she /he should get a week's paid leave to recover since the personal tragedy will affect work and should be avoided.Plus avoid the terribly boring conversations of "what went wrong".

There should a policy which states that a guy/Girl cannot date multiple women/Men at the same time. We should believe in serial monogomy.

Memo: warning would be given to those who dont enjoy life and are hell bent on working and making other work.

Any comments?

If i were a witch this is what i would do. Instead of Blasting Voldemort to smithreens I have a list of things i would love to do.

1)Straighten and maybe shorten my nose
2)Who needs Lyposuction and workouts when you can make a Weight Dissolving Potion,Ab Shaper Potion,Thigh Flab Blaster,Cellulite Chopper, Breast Booster(i need to reduce though)
3) Who needs to work I will wave my wand and have it all..
4)Mortgages to hell I will wave a wand and make a house in a nice country side
5)Definitely save commuting charges since i can travel by broom or vanish one place and appear at the other(this way i am never late to work.
6) Wave my wand and im dressed/undressed
7)Ooh best wave my wand and house is clean,Dog is washed, food is cooked.
8)If I hate my boss i'd Zap him and he would turn a pig/ferret?
9)Indulge the woman in me and have loads of clothes and shoes etc

and because i love nature

10)Remove pollution
11)Save extinction of Wildlife
12)Stop Global Warming

What would you do if you were a witch/Wizard?

I have learnt something new and something my prim and propah mind would never accept.

Sex chat!! its the newest thing I learnt. I was totally jittery and my ears turned red and toes curled at the thought and i actually had beads of sweat running down my neck..

I am a middle class ,private convent educated, mind filled with worng and right, person.

My mind rejects anything which is considered "wrong", I was told that sex is a sin and i took it very seriously and now i am coming out of my own restrictions.

Imagine studying in a school where Nun's walk with a stick and teach how a proper lady sits,eats ,sneezes,coughs,walks and talks.I'd say if it was possible they would teach me how to sit on a commode to pee..

A proper lady never talks dirty !!!

I am breaking my own boundries and trying to experience life.

My friend taught me a few things and brought me out of my closet. Free your mind!!

First few attempts got off on a bad start but i kinda got used to using dirty words and things my mind rejected.

I have realised just how much fun and how hot it is to indulge in a bit of sexy chat.

I might post a sample chat sooner Any comments?

I ask you all to share your experiences as well..

Hmm this definitely is  the lowest spot at present. Grumpy and sleepy and at work,trying to keep eyes peeled at my PC with the help of black coffee.

Was up till 1 AM and i got this amusing  Bush joke i had to share with friends and so  sent them all the SMS forward, Only to be abused and  called up asking if I was feelin allright for sending a Pathetic Joke at 1.30AM. Was amusing though since those calling were obviously awake and chirping.

Many of  the Girls pals were out on dates and i was the only one at home with my Runaway Jury.

Hmm now the life gets interesting ,am chatting with my friend and are discussing Kamasutra and how some of its positions described are so wild and some might make me snap like a twig they are so complicated.

Hmm We deciding which ones we can try out..i think i need to start my yoga again to bend like a pretzel might takes me 50 years

1.Im 25,Never married and broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years a year ago.(the idiot cheated on me and is now married to a much older woman)
2.I live with my mother
3.I am 110 pounds (7 stones)and 5 feet 2 inches tall,auburn hair and look nice.
4.I am currently involved in a chat relationship with a man
5.I had 1 fling post breakup
6.My parents broke up when i was 10
7.I paint and i was trained singer and acted in theatre

I tag BlueButterfly,Dave41,gm4aff,Gordongnome,milliniumx,MyfirstBook and PetiteK.

THE RULES
“Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.”

Lovely Day today. Lazing at home, all work done(cooking cleaning etc).
Hmm now sitting with a beer and typing on this blog as well as chatting with Monsieur Loup.

This is life i just dont want the weekend to end .

I have the world's most cowardly dog.My dog is scared of darkness , scared of being left alone at home,scared if a book falls off the shelf and scared when a bird flutters.

I think Courage the cowardly dog has met his match . And to make things amazing we have named her Zoya!!As if she's some royalty.

To top it all ,she eats all the time and sleeps on me just because she's scared of darkness.

Ooh and on hot days she hates it if i for some reason dont switch on the Air cooling system.And makes whining noises till i do.

Anyone out there with a pet worse than mine?

All that is required to make this amazing weekend even better would be a boyfriend to cuddle with but.. anyway back to my daydreaming and reading Runaway Jury.

Its Friday and i am at my desk listening to Country roads and my collection of 1300 MP3 Songs.

Barely any work and can relax and not bother even to check mailbox.
Got a few escalation mails and which are gettin solved so no rush.

I have been in this company for a year now and i have realised one thing. Nothing will ever get done on time , works is something everyone does in between breaks and no one will ever ask you why you arent working.

They work like a government organisation and dont believe in working pronto..everyone loves to take their own sweet time.

Lunch time and all i have to do is chat with some friends and catch -up on the happenings of the day.

Also, chatting with my Monsieur Loup(Mr. Wolf).. Life's great , unless you consider a few fetching B@***rds.

We(Monieur Loup & I)are discussing and bitching about respective bosses and discussin daily predictions for our Zodiac signs

Now isnt all this sweet?

Now time for me to play Agony Aunt for him since he's got something troubling him.

I’m not a morning person and I hate getting up early.

Also my wake up process includes pushing a large blond Labrador dog off me and my bed.

Also the though of work uggh!! If only someone would pay me to sit at home and read and laze I would love to.. Who wouldn’t...

Anyway am at work and am consuming black coffee (caffeine induced alertness).Checking may mailbox for anything interesting, Spoke with a couple of team members.

Ouch! My other ever sick manager who was hospitalized for "Typhoid" i think a week and a half ago is back and looks way too healthy to even be sick.

Ah well, he the typical lets for go a coffee (and at the counter to pay exclaim "S**t forgot my wallet") So basically you end up paying for him each time and my other colleagues cant wait to do that just to suck up.

I have predominantly Male colleagues, Infact I am the only woman at my prestigious position of a Team leader.

I have a Ex Army Captain, married second time recently on one hand and a Older Married with two little girls on the other. Then i have the Booby Guy, a colleague who loves to wear lycra Tee's and forgets he doesn’t have a body and has tips like boobs/nipples pointing out..

Then i had a Delivery Manager who had this uncanny habit of placing his palm on your back right on the spot where the bra hooks clasp (Ugggh)

I also have this other Manager who was spying and peeping over his coffee mug at my Boobs(i am a D Cup and am fairly petite so boobs look large), He tells me I walk like this Mean Kick ass Boss which screams "don’t mess". I grumbled over coffee "I hope that works to deter any silly thoughts"

Now, Most of the people I have just described happen to be (you got it) South Indians... you blame me for being biased?

I’m not on an "I hate men" mission just to clarify.

I am very much head over heels for this one fella who is definitely the right kinda wrong.

It amazes me that we are Hypocrites .I am Indian and I am not a virgin.

The issue is in India women accept men who aren’t virgins(well at least one of us has to know how it's done and lets face it we girls want out Mills & boon earth shattering sex),The Indian men are a different breed all together.

If they want self gratification they love to screw with women who are experienced. For girlfriends and wife's they prefer virgins.

More so for wife because for some screwed up reason they think that a woman who is a virgin is a better person and has morals and is virtuous compared to women who are confidant & comfortable with their sexuality.

It's my question to all Indian men- Will the presence of a hymen make me a better person? More trust worthy?
Well I can go to a surgeon and get my hymen surgically remade, will that satisfy you?

It's such a big deal of a tissue and it frustrates me.

I am a normal person with every right to decide when/who i have sex with and that DOES not make me a lesser woman.

I know our mind-set is changing now and we are more accepting, However instead of screaming "Racism" over Jade Goody and Shilpa Shetty issue, eradicate this "racism" against those who aren’t virgins.

Ever watched a Law /Court Room drama? Ever watched Soprano's and how the lawyers drag their Clients from the Court with Journalists dogging them with questions and the lawyer replies to it all " No Comment"..

Well thats life if we dont want to really comment on it

But what does it really mean? Does "No Comment" Mean:

1)I dont know
2)I know I dont wanna say
3)I dont know and i dont care a Flying F&^K
4)I am too confused to comment
5)You look to stupid for me to comment
6)I dont find you attractive

I thought over this for sometime now..

Let me start from the beginning...

I am 26 , Single and i guess in love with Life.

I broke up with my Boyfriend of 4 years and thank god each day for saving me from marrying him.

Now , i guess i will never learn , got involved with a well .. friend.

We chat a lot and i always wanted to blurt out i had started developing feelings which i cant describe.

Well, I was also scared of loosing a friend /buddy if i said a thing. Finally one day (3 months later) i kinda sent a SMS saying" i have developed feelings for you"

Guess what? I dont get a reply( which is Ok) next day i coulnt control my curiosity anymore and decided to ask if he recived a accidental SMS.

I get a reply - yeah. No comment.

No.. if you think i was Heart Broken .. No I Fell off my chair Laughing.. The Irony Is i am reading The Client by John Grisham and just finished a page filled with Reggie Love Dragging Mark Sway from the Press and mouthing "No Comment"

Dating is an excellent concept ,However i just can't understand the millions of different "Dating rules".

I am Listing 9 Rules i come across for reference:

On the whole, men seem to be more confused than women when it comes to dating. However, the essence of these rules is assumed to be the same for everyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Rule One: Sexual intercourse changes every rule. Nudity of one party or both parties can in some cases modify the rules.

Rule Two: Every rule has an exception or two or three.

Rule Three: The ambulance-chaser rule. There is an appropriate waiting period after someone breaks up before you can ask them out. I am unsure as to exactly what this waiting period is, but I know it is longer than five minutes and shorter than a month.

Rule Quatro: The rebound rule. Never, ever date people who are not over their last significant other. This is bad. You will be forced to listen to stories of love lost and told you can't go to Applebee's because he used to take her there.

Signs she is still holding a flame: She refers to his current girlfriend as the whore from KU, and she is mysteriously busy on weekends he is in town.

Rule Five: As Olympia Dukakis said in "Moonstruck," "Don't shit where you eat." Try your hardest not to date anyone you work with.

Teachers should not date students. Bartenders should not date servers. Checkers should not date baggers.

The only possible exception to this rule is if the individual you wish to date works in a different department or section of the organization than you. Even then, use extreme caution.

Rule Six: The I'll-call-you rule. Men seem to have a particularly hard time with this one.

Let's say after a night of conversation, a woman gives you her number and tells you to give her a call. It is appropriate to call the next day; you will not seem too anxious.

This first call should be a casual call, and you should include your name and the location of your first encounter so she can definitely identify you.

You may at the time of this first call express your intent to call again later in the week with plans for a date.

Rule Seven: The sisters, aunts, cousins and mothers of women you have dated are off-limits unless you live in Arkansas or certain counties in Mississippi.

Her best friend is a no-no, as well as the sisters, aunts, cousins and mothers of any of your friends.

The rule that is eight: The rule of who pays. The man.

To hell with women's liberation. If you are the man, and I am sure you know how to tell, you will be footing the bill unless otherwise arranged before the date. In same-sex relationships the person who asks for the date pays.

Ninth in the list of rules: Follow your heart. Rules are meant to be broken. We can't all be as lucky as ferrets, but if you bite someone in just the right place you might get lucky.

See what i mean ,this is just a begining to it all and i am so confused i dont know what to follow.

I am single and have had 2 dates in my entire 26 years of life.

One date was hardly a date and more a fling and the other was the first date ever and it turned out to be a 3 year relationship.

The fling post breakup was just that a fling.. a rebound to release pent up anger over being cheated by an idiot(the south indian)

The fling as i realised was too poor to even release body heat. It was at best described as something which left you feeling "was that really it"???

So now im on a celibacy mission and my count being so dismal that i decided something was wrong with the world im in and Celibacy is the way .. the "IN" thing.

I wont say it's bad, its just that suddenly you feel that 5 or more months of celibacy and you want to explode.

Dating anyone new is such a nuisance

1)you have to attract someone's attention
2)you have to dress up for the effect
3)get a wax(ouch)brazillian wax(super ouch)
4)witty and intellegent conversation( i blab nonstop )
5)Hope as hell he is excellent in bed or atleast a good kisser
6)The fear of when to ahve sex? the minute the date is over or start with sex?
7)I am 110 pounds and 5.2" in height i do have my squishy flab lovingly sticking to my bones and get a complex being with a guy who gym's everyday... I feel like a Jelly
8)God forbid you blush red when the guy you have been secretly fantasizing about ask's you out.. How Naive will that look.
9)once the dating status is confirmed, mind whizzes to what next
10) ooh screw it.. this list will never stop

Well to think so much trouble for one date.. and this is not the end.. Why have we created such silly stupid rules which do nothing but make your head spin in confusion.

And who said Celibacy was bad? I think im enjoying it.. (let me answer that when im feeling tiny pin pricks of frustration ) already thinking of purchasing a vibrator off annsummers.com.. get stuck between the rabbit or the other ones.. Hmm need to decide..

In the mean time.. Celibacy ROCKS!

Well start at this.. Im 26 years old and single.. I live with My mother.
I am working with software company filled with (No Offence) South Indians.

Personally i have nothing against South Indians ,Some of my friends are and More importantly my Ex-Boyfriend also was one. I have recently developed a Allergy against anyone from Down South.

It's like everytime i come across leatching south Indian in my company i wanna scream and shout(mind you i have a few North and east indians too who letch)

Its a difficult life for a Girl to work and it happens to men as well .. but the occurances are more with women.(Biased)

Imagine you are talking to a Manager level person with a Pot belly hangin over his belt and is short and i tower over him with or without heels and he is letching over your breasts and decided to ask in a leering way "Hey Babe, wanna go out for drinks" . I mean get real have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?

I see you i get images of you trying to fornicate with your wife but cant 'cause your oversized tummy gets in the way and hides your undersized penis.